[Freemanlist2] Steven Plaut - 101 Things for the Egyptian Military to Do with Dead Islamist Fundamentalists
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101 Things for the Egyptian Military to Do with Dead Islamist Fundamentalists
by Steven Plaut
As you know, the Egyptian military has overturned the Terror-ocracy of the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt. I never quite understood just what they had done with the Muslim Sisterhood but we will have to address that some other morn. Anyways, there are all sorts of reports coming out of Egypt about how the military is taking Islamists out back and disposing of them in an environmentally friendly manner.
But this just raises some questions of what the Egyptian military should be doing with the carcasses of those Islamist fundamentalists from the "Bro-hood." Being an ever-helpful sort of fella, I have begun a list of proposals. Inspired by that book about the 101 things to do with a dead cat. So here is what I have come up with so far:
101 Things for the Egyptian Military to Do with Dead Islamist Fundamentalists:
1. Upset the environmentalists by using them to poison piranha fish.
2. Use them to help boost Purina's stock value.
3. One word: McNuggets.
4. Give them tenure at Ben Gurion University.
5. Fire them off into space so Barry Chamish's UFO friends will never want to visit earth again.
6. Clone them and sell the spinoffs as 21st century scarecrows or as members of the Neturei Karta.
7. Pretend they are Rachel Corrie and run a bulldozer over them.
8. Save Holland by using them to plug the dikes.
9. Let them occupy Wall Street with a sign reading "Will Terrorize for Food".
10. Market them in the bazaar as carpet beaters.
11. Let the US javelin team train on top of them for the Olympics.
12. They make a great speed hump.
13. Tie them to a pole and use them as the bait at the dog race track.
14. Send them to the Harvard BDS leaders.
15. Enroll them in the Reconstructionist Rabbinical Seminary. Hey, they already have taken more Rabbinic courses than Michael Lerner.
16. Halloween Decoration.
17. Clearicil could use them in its commercials to show what happens if you use the inferior brand.
18. Export them to France as a wine supplement.
19. Sell them as organic produce in Berkeley.
20. Tie them to the back of cars for newlyweds in MTV commercials.
21. Use them to scare your kids when they refuse to clean their rooms.
22. Sell them as a Yigal Tomarkin original sculpture.
23. They give people 101 reasons to prefer having a dead cat.
24. Use them to become the patron saint for dung beetles.
25. Sell them to that Museum in Sweden that ran the "Snow White Pure" sculpture.
27. Enter them in the Texas State Cow Chip Toss as the world's largest cow chips.
28. Make them the drummer in a punk rock band. Or better yet, the drum.
29. Tell Anna Nicole Smith they are rich.
30. "Fear Factor" TV show could make people sit on a bench next to them.
31. Put them in an envelope and send him to the Elect Ralph Nader committee.
32. Let Brandeis hire them for its peace and justice studies program.
33. Rent them to Cubans as a device to hold their place in the bread lines while they go off fishing.
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