Freeman Center For Strategic Studies bernards at sbcglobal.net
Mon Apr 26 17:57:07 CDT 2010


1. The  roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was  Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too  much  pi.

2.  I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan  island, but it turned out to be an  optical Aleutian   .

3.  She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her  still.

4.  A rubber band pistol was confiscated from  algebra class, because it was a weapon of math  disruption.

5.  The butcher backed into the meat  grinder and  got a little behind in his  work.

6.  No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll  still be  stationery.

7.  A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and  was cited for  littering.

8.  A grenade thrown into a kitchen  in  France   would result in Linoleum  Blownapart.

9.  Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a  tie.

10.  Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a  banana.

11.  A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.  The police are looking into  it.

12.  Atheism is a non-prophet  organization.

13.  Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the  hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay  here; I'll go on a  head.'

14.  I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.  Then it hit  me.

15.  A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:  'Keep off the  Grass.'

16.  A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken  to a  hospital.  When  his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a  nurse said 'No  change   yet.'
17.  A chicken crossing the road is poultry in  motion.

19.  The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison  was a small medium at  large.

20.  The man who survived mustard gas and pepper  spray is now a seasoned  veteran.

21.  A backward poet writes  inverse.

22.  In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In  feudalism it's your count that  votes.

23.  When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a  taste of  religion.

24.  Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects  !
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